Unused

When all's been said that will be said, When we've done all we've meant to do, When at last I'm finally dead, What will you really do?

I was almost never born

— I was almost never born,
And perhaps I was not meant to be.
My father's dreams had been by me shorn;
He'd be more were it not for me.

My mother on her own conceived;
She chose to counter contraception.
Willful, she had my father deceived —
I was made by that deception.

He, a graduate of history,
Had desired my mother to abort;
But she had so wanted a baby...
We pared his education short.

On the thirteenth then, I was due;
But though the month's thirteenth came and went,
Into this world I would not come through
And that womb another week lent.

Labor pains she has never felt:
Instead of contractions, she had blood.
She was cut, while I, a harsh blow dealt;
My pained cries did that birth room flood.

Perhaps I'd tried not to be born
To reverse my mother's wanting sin.
It's true: I was almost never born...
Perhaps I never should have been.